#but i don’t mind bc i do it anyways LOL
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
BLLK BOYS X CURLY HAIR S/O! hcs
notes: written with the limited knowledge I have on curly hair 🙏 so hope it’s alright !! [Requested!]
characters: Chigiri, Sae, Bachira, Ness
warnings: cursing probs, ain’t proofread
CHIGIRI HYOMA
adding him for the sole purpose of HAIR DAY DATES 🗣️
You and him, the small counter, and bottles and bottles of hair product and styling tools 😍
Bae you don’t ever have to worry about the back of your hair bc hyo-baby GOTS YOU !!!
No knots allowed!! Not on his watch!!
-
I can also imagine you, hyo, and his sister just chilling around one day watching a movie and like sitting in one infront of another doing hair LMAO
The Chigiri siblings GOTCHU YOU
You looked so cutsey it’s insane
-
Also he’s like, always adjusting your hair
He doesn’t even say anything, just like fixes it lmao
Def is down for matching hairstyles (maybe not around his friends tho hehe)
Expects princess treatment for helping you lmao
ITOSHI SAE
(trying to learn how to write 4 him😭🙏)
Very quiet about his thoughts (that are positive anyway)
Thinks your hair is absolutely stunning, especially since it’s on you
will say “you look nice” but that’s about it
lowkey hates HOW LONG your routine takes
he just asked if you wanted to go to the beach to walk around
And he asked that like, 45 minutes ago
‘IM ALMOST DONE!!!’
He does like watching you do your hair routine— or more like being there in the same room
He understands the importance of self care, just not to this extent LMAO
like he combs his hair and has a simple face routine, but anything that extends 10 minutes seems over the top to him lol
Will def help you with anything tho, fast learner hehe
ALSOOO!-
when it rains he always gives you his jacket to put over your head to protect them curls 🗣️🙏 very gentlemanly I’ll say
BACHIRA MEGURU
he loves help you form curls!!
Like spinning his finger around and making them ya’know? :o
desperately wants to touch your curls but if you don’t want him to he will try (TRY) not to
Cue aggressive self-restraint stimming from Bachira
-
Wants to have you do the same routine on him lol
whiiich you do :3
Hes so excited to be involved and like, touched LMAOO
If you wear bonnets to sleep he wants to wear one too
it totally slides off while he sleeps and never tries to wear it again but still!!!!!!
ALEXIS NESS
absolutely entranced with your beauty
Nonono like, for real
Is in love with your curls 😍 he could watch em’ bounce for hours man
Like okay— in Ness’s mind there’s like a ‘filter’ if you would
And when he looks at you you’re like glowing and smiling n show motion with sparkles in your eyes
And you could just be like, chilling in your pjs LMAO
-
Will watch you do your hair routine with stars in his eyes
His hairs kinda curly too— well wavys a better word, but he doesn’t style it like you do
If you ever wanted to style his HED BE MORE THAN HAPPY!
jus happily sitting there criss-cross while you work your magic
help sorry if anything ain’t right— my hair is as straight as a pin soo 😭🙏
Made January 3rd 2025
#merlucide’s works#bllk#blue lock#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#chigiri#chigiri hyoma#chigiri x reader#chigiri x you#blue lock chigiri#sae itoshi#sae x reader#sae x you#sae x y/n#bachira x reader#bllk bachira#bachira meguru#blue lock bachira#bachira x you#ness#alexis ness#ness x reader#alexis ness x reader
205 notes
·
View notes
Text
SO IT GOES - chapter 5
Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, sexual themes and language, drinking, not my best work lol Wordcount: 6.6K A/C: so have we come up with a shipname for zari and paige yet?? anyways ty all for the support and sooo much love on the last part - especially those who remained patient for a new part! i've got a LOT of stuff going on rn so please be understanding if parts take a little longer to come out! i wanna write badly but i gotta prioritise real life unless y'all wanna start paying me lol anyways, this should be a rewarding chapter to some of y'all!! anyways go read!!
-
Before London
“The skirt,” my childhood friend Olivia’s voice filters through the speaker, my phone set up on my bed as I try on different outfits for the evening on facetime.
I stare into my reflection, the black miniskirt not leaving much to imagination, my legs fully on display. I sigh, unsure whether it would be too much for the night.
“I don’t know Liv, the dress is a little less revealing though,” I complain, turning around and seeing the way the tight skirt hugs my curves.
“Exactly why you should wear the skirt instead.”
I laugh, shaking my head at her face on my phone screen. “I’m not going there to shag someone. It’s going to be mostly the team anyway.”
“Izzie, you are single now. Act like it. Have you even hooked up with anyone since…?”
I scoff. “Do you think I have time for anything like that?”
“Maybe if you schedule it in…” Olivia jokes, making my mouth fall open feeling offended.
“Hey! I’m perfectly happy being single right now. Love is the last thing I should be thinking about.”
“Well, I still think you should wear the skirt,” the girl answers, making me groan.
“Fine, okay gotta go. I’ll text you!” I wave bye, before hanging up, realising my ride must have arrived. One more glance in the mirror and I decide it will do - the black mini skirt and a matching black cowl neck top, the back draped low to reveal the smooth skin of my back along my spine. The outfit was simple yet sexy, the stacked chunky golden jewelry dressing the look up. I’ve pinned my hair up in a bun, curls falling out as if by accident - in reality the hairdo had taken over 45 minutes to accomplish.
“Good enough,” I murmur to myself, putting on my boots and quickly hurrying out the door. Just like we had agreed, Trey is waiting in an Uber, waving me over. He had sent me a message earlier asking if we could ride together. Of course I had said yes out of politeness. Though if I’m honest, I always felt a little uneasy around him.
“Hey!” I smile politely climbing into the backseat with a potted orchid in my hands.
Trey meets my smile with an even wider one, eyeing me up and down as I buckle my seatbelt.
“Housewarming present?” He asks, pointing to the potted flower. I shrug and nod.
“I didn’t really know what to get them,” I admit, crossing my legs and eyeing the purple and white flower.
“Lala’s gonna love that,” Trey nods, his eyes still locked on me and my outfit. “You look…” he goes silent, and from my peripheral vision I see the man shaking his head. “Really good.”
“Oh, thanks,” I mumble, brushing it off lightheartedly as I grab my phone which is frantically buzzing.
Paige When are u coming? I’m already here and idk anyone Oh nvm Lou and Chris are here So… when u coming???
I feel my stomach doing flips as I read the texts, my mind still swirling with how she’d made me breakfast just earlier this morning. How my couch still smells just like her even hours later. I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something comforting about her presence. The way she worked to make me laugh, to get me to relax. Like she wanted to take care of me.
Just left so I should be there soon x
Izzie Iz Help We’re drinking wine
Time to be a big girl and learn Paige
But I don’t wanna 🙁 Fine Bc you said so
Good girl
Freaky 😏
Paige
Sorry I pregamed
Of course you did I’ll be there soon x
Giggling at my phone, I place it on my lap, not wanting to be rude towards the man sitting next to me. Trey’s eyes are locked on me, and I can feel myself growing uneasy, especially when I realise I have nothing to talk to him about other than work.
”You excited for tonight?” He asks.
”Yeah, it’s going to be nice to see everyone out of work,” I answer, keeping my composure despite feeling awkward, begging he doesn’t pick up on it. I had become quite good at that (or Trey was more ignorant than I realised).
”Oh yeah, you haven’t really had the chance to do that yet huh?” He asks, his deep voice gravelly.
“Not really no.”
“Well, if you ever get lonely, you can always call me up Zari,” Trey says, reaching over and suddenly placing his hand on mine resting on my lap. I keep still as long as I can before pulling it away, pretending I just needed that specific hand to hold the pot in my lap now.
“Uh, yeah that’s really sweet of you. Thank you,” I chuckle awkwardly. “Paige lives right upstairs actually so I’ve been spending some time with her.”
Trey is taken aback, his brows rising. “Paige?”
“Yeah we’re friends,” I smile. Trey’s dark brown eyes keep watching me, clearly thinking about something till he shrugs and looks away.
The drive is quiet, full of awkward comments by the man clearly eager to make conversation. Normally I was better than this at the small talk that the Americans seemed to love so much - but not today. I could feel my stomach twisting with nerves and butterflies in anticipation for the evening. I wasn’t entirely sure why. But all I knew I was eager to see Paige - she had a way of grounding me.
We finally get to the building, awkwardly accompanying each other in the elevator much like my first day working for the Wings. I’m the one to ring the doorbell, Trey standing close behind me.
“Hey pretty girl!” Lala opens the door with a warm smile. “Oh hey Trey, come in come in!”
She steps aside, letting both of us in. The hallway is long and the ceilings are high, the space modern but filled with gorgeous furniture bringing warmth into the space.
“Wow, beautiful,” I gasp looking around.
“Issa work in process,” Lala laughs. I catch a glimpse into the open concept kitchen/living room, filled with people who had arrived on time unlike me and Trey (our Uber had taken a “shortcut”, which ended up taking 15 minutes longer than the normal drive.) I could tell alcohol was already flowing from the loud laughs echoing around the apartment.
“Oh, here you go!” I smile, handing Lala the orchid. “I wasn’t sure what you two wanted so I hope that’s okay.”
Lala gasps, admiring the plant. “No, this is gorg! And so are you, look at that skirt girl.”
I blush a little as she spins me around, admiring my outfit.
“Is it too short?” I ask but Lala looks at me with raised brows. It’s then I notice her skirt is just as short, if not shorter. “Nevermind!”
The woman laughs, wrapping an arm around my waist and bringing me further into the apartment. My eyes immediately land on Paige next to Arike, both taking up half of the couch as if partaking in the Olympics of manspreading. Their laughs rise above the chatter of the crowd, making them impossible to miss. Even if subconsciously I had been looking for the blonde the second I stepped in.
“Yeah�� they’re already drunk, thought you should know,” Lala nods towards the two.
“I heard, Paige was texting me already.”
The woman turns to me grinning a little. “Of course she was.” I’m not exactly sure what it means but don’t get the opportunity to ask before I hear a loud screech interrupting the both of us.
“Izzie!!” Paige gasps, her voice soaring above the noise. She climbs off the couch, rushing to me through the crowd. To my surprise the blonde wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I can’t help the smile that spreads to my face. It comes naturally, when my arms wrap around her neck, pulling her in. Like since our first hug this morning, physical closeness felt easy. She smells like deodorant, sandalwood and a hint of alcohol. Breaking the hug, I eye her fit up and down - the olive cuban collar shirt and shorts in a matching pattern, two silver chains dangling on her neck, hair in a slicked back bun.
All while I’ve been admiring Paige’s outfit, her gaze has been roaming across my body, taking me in. I notice a hint of red burning on her cheeks when her blue eyes land on my skirt. Suddenly I have the strongest need for a drink. Our stares meet, and for a fleeting moment I think she’s about to say something. But before she can, Arike is pulling me into a friendly hug.
“So glad you came, Zari! Whatchu wanna drink?”
I feel flustered, barely hearing her. Clearing my throat, I finally answer, feeling the blonde’s eyes boring into me.
“White wine please?”
Lala laughs, shaking her head and grabbing my shoulders. “You’re gonna need something stronger to keep up with us baby.”
I laugh. “Okay, tequila soda then?”
“Attagirl, lime?”
“Yes please,” I nod, watching Lala and Arike head towards the kitchen island covered in bottles of booze and glasses, leaving me alone with Paige.
For the first time in weeks, there’s a sense of awkwardness between us, neither of us knowing what to say. I wanted to tell her she looks good, that the olive against her skin that had grown more tan in Dallas made her glow in a way I had never seen before. But something in my throat doesn’t allow the words to come out. Thankfully the booze in Paige’s system makes her miss the weird tension completely.
“You look,” she starts, stepping closer to me, arm brushing against mine. She shakes her head, looking me up and down which is enough to make my ears burn. “Never seen you look like this before.”
I tilt my head, meeting her blue eyes challengingly. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
To my enjoyment, this makes her flustered, her cheeks bright pink now.
“You know it is ma,” she grins.
“You and that bloody nickname,” I shake my head, rolling my eyes at the blonde, when Lala and Arike return to us with my drink.
“You guys wanna play beer pong?” Arike asks as I grab the glass from Lala.
“What is this, a frat house?” Paige laughs, making Lala groan.
“Trust, it wasn’t my choice.”
-
After a long debate between me, Izzie, Arike and Lala on who should be teaming up, we decided that the only fair combination was me with Lala, while Arike and Izzie played against us - the girls claiming it wouldn’t be right for the two hoopers to play beer pong against non-athletes. Honestly, I barely had listened to the conversation at all. Because the way Izzie looks tonight has me grasping the drink in my hand so tight my knuckles were beginning to turn white. My mind is travelling to the filthiest places at the thought of what is underneath the hemline of her skirt, her glowy legs making me weak in the knees. Even worse was the low, scooped back of her shirt, her spine’s movement visible as she walked around the room. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, I couldn’t even stop the trembling of my hands. I needed to get more drinks in me quickly.
It seemed like the dark haired girl had the same idea, downing her first tequila soda in a matter of minutes as we set up the game. The tension often visible on her face only to me was slowly beginning to melt away.
“We’re about to win aight?” I tell Lala next to me, which makes Izzie let out a loud scoff.
“You really think I’ll let you win Bueckers?” The dark haired girl asks, challenging me.
“Yo, who’s the athlete here,” I respond, an arrogant grin on my face but she won’t back down, catlike eyes staring me down at the opposite end of the table.
“You’re enormously underestimating my desire to win.”
“Oh yeah?”
Izzie nods. “Yes Paige.”
And she’s right. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol already flowing in my system, or the way Izara looks, her green eyes locked on me everytime I bounce the ball off the table but my aim is off. And somehow she keeps aiming perfectly, a sly grin and her sharp eyes glimmering as she makes me drink one cup of beer after another, after another until Lala is the one to call it off, admitting defeat gracefully.
Arike and Izara hug, celebrating their win, but I can’t even be mad - the way Izzie’s mouth is stretched into a wide smile, the way she was letting go off her disciplined, hard exterior as a result of the alcohol was such a joy to watch I could’ve soaked in it forever.
“I told you! I told you!” Iz laughs, coming over to me and getting up in my face. But all I’m doing is smirking, my hand snaking around her waist and pulling her close without thinking about it much. But she doesn’t pull away either, even when our fronts nearly press together, heat radiating between us. The party has turned loud, drunk people bumping into each other, yelling over the music, but all I see is the dark haired girl in front of me, and the blush on her cheeks.
“You were cheating Iz,” I tell her, heavy eyes gazing down at the girl.
“How?” She asks, stunned.
I shrug. “I dunno.” I did know. It was that damn outfit. It took every ounce of self-discipline I had not to drag her to the bathroom and pull that skirt up. How was I expected to aim while my thoughts were running out of control.
“Here you areeeee!” Satou’s voice interrupts the moment, making me stumble backwards and letting go of the girl in my arms realising how close I’d been to losing control and leaning down to kiss her.
Satou hugs both me and Iz, looking around for the couple of the hour who have suddenly disappeared. “Where the lovebirds at?” She asks, holding a wrapped present in her hands. I chuckle shrugging but Zari lets out a giggle.
“Last I saw them they were getting pretty cosy,” she laughs, leaning into my side whether on purpose or on accident I’m not sure. But it leaves my skin tingling.
“No one’s surprised,” Satou laughs, waving her friend over. “Savannah, this is Paige and… Izara, right?”
“She prefers Zari,” I correct before Iz can even say a word. From my peripheral vision I see her head snap to me, eyes growing softer as they land on me. I could tell she was happy with me, which made me want to get on my knees and beg for her to let me serve her forever. Okay, no, let me get a grip.
“Whassup,” I nod at Savannah, who smiles at both me and Izzie. Suddenly, the girl beside me stumbles as someone bumps into her, crashing straight into me.
“Woah,” I grab a hold of her, my hand naturally landing on the small of her back. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she giggles, watching me and her nose scrunching as her face twists into a laugh. The sparkling eyeshadow covering her eyelids makes her shine even more, curled strands falling onto her face out of the updo her long, dark hair is in. She looks so beautiful I feel breathless, even more so up close.
“You want a drink ma? I could use one,” I ask, staring into the green of her eyes, feeling the alcohol too much to realise that our faces are only inches away at this point.
She rolls her eyes. “Paige, I hate that nickname.”
“Do you want a drink or not woman?” I ask annoyed, teasing her. But her face hardens, and her eyes sharpen.
“Excuse me?”
Her tone is hard and serious, making my lower abdomen flip. As inappropriate as it feels, I’m exceptionally turned on.
I swallow, biting my lower lip. “Uh…”
“Woman?” She interrupts me, furrowing her brows. I can feel heat pooling between my legs, making my mind spin.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, my voice coming out shaky from how flustered my thoughts had turned me.
“What’s that?” She asks, brows rising as she watches my mouth expectantly.
“I’m sorry Izzie,” I say louder, my chest heaving now. To my surprise, I notice her breathing is growing heavy too.
“Mhm, that’s better,” she nods, eyes still on my mouth as I bite down on my lower lip. And for just a second, as my eyes flicker from her eyes to her glossed lips, I consider leaning in and pressing a kiss on them, mind jumping to how she might taste. Like heaven I bet.
“So a drink then?” Iz asks, interrupting my spinning thoughts.
“Oh right, yeah,” I compose myself, “we’ll be right back.”
We leave Satou and Savannah alone, my hand on the small of Izara’s back guiding her through the people to the kitchen island.
“What do we want to drink?” The girl asks, looking at the row of bottles lining the counter. I lean in even closer to her side, letting my hand drag from her back to around her waist. The girl’s breath hitches audibly, yet she doesn’t pull back.
“Shots! Now!” Arike suddenly interrupts us, Lala following close behind her.
“Bro where you been?” I ask, watching as she begins to pour shots of vodka for all four of us. Her and Lala exchange a look that tells me I don’t want to know the answer to my question.
“Nevermind,” I mumble, making Izzie giggle, the alcohol finally loosening her up.
“No, I really shouldn’t,” the dark haired girl shakes her head, pushing the shot away.
“Oh c’mooonnn!!” I groan, pushing it back.
“Yeah Zari, c’mon,” Rike complains.
I pick up my own shot glass, and Izara’s as well, bringing it to her lips. She’s considering, meeting my gaze, until her pretty lips open and I tip the glass, pouring the shot into her mouth as I throw my head back, swallowing mine.
“Holy shit,” I cough, making everyone around me laugh, looking at the dark haired girl whose face doesn’t even twitch from the alcohol. Damn.
“And another oneeee,” Arike laughs, now pouring tequila into the glasses, clearly trying to get us two drunk. I glare at her, picking up on what she was up to. But Rike merely winks at me, handing us salt and lemon slices.
“Oh boy,” Izara chuckles, eyeing the alcohol. I follow closely as her tongue darts out to lick her wrist, my mind spinning with dirty thoughts involving that tongue between my le-
“Lemon!” The girl yelps, squeezing her eyes shut having taken the shot. I quickly grab the slice from the counter, holding Izzie’s face still by her chin as I place the wedge between her lips. Her teeth bite into it, sucking on the bitter fruit to get rid of the taste in her mouth.
Her dark lashes flutter open, and she pulls away with a grin. “Your turn.”
I scratch the back of my neck, feeling my tongue already growing numb from the alcohol, my speech certainly beginning to slur soon.
“Yo Zari, you should let Paige lick the salt from your wrist,” Arike yells from the opposite side of the counter, earning a slap on the shoulder from Lala.
“Huh?” Izara laughs, turning to the pair.
“Ignore her, God knows I do,” Lala rolls her eyes.
Flustered, I fumble with the salt shaker, licking it off my hand and downing the shot of tequila, feeling the burn in my throat making me want to cough. To my surprise, Iz brings the slice of lemon to my lips, the bitter taste putting an end to the burn.
I can feel the alcohol hitting, making my cheeks burn - or maybe it’s the way the dark haired girl is looking at me, her eyes even more catlike than normal, sparkling in the dimmed lighting. Either way I can feel my brain and mouth beginning to slow down, yet my words and actions seem simultaneously sped up, like I couldn’t think them through before doing.
“I’mma admit, I’m drunk as fuck,” I laugh, making Izara throw her head back and let out a bright chuckle, grabbing onto my shoulder as she does. Fuck she looks hotter than usual, the hard, poised exterior breaking, letting me catch little glimpses into her internal life, reminiscent of the softness on her face when she fell asleep on me.
“Let’s run away before Arike makes us take more shots,” she whispers and simultaneously somehow screams, grabbing my arm and dragging me down behind the island, as if Arike and Lala weren’t standing right on the other side, watching the two of us. Still I let her, crouching behind it and letting her drag me wherever she wants to.
-
I love Dallas! Or maybe I should reconsider when I’m sober, but now that the shots and drinks had been flowing, I had decided I loved Dallas for certain. Paige and I have been hiding behind a corner, by the entrance to Arike’s and Lala’s bedroom, for the past hour, giggling and talking. I’ve realised Paige might be one of my favourite people I’ve ever met, the strain in my abs a reminder of how easily she made me laugh. How effortless it was to spend time with her, like I didn’t have to put up any exterior or front. I felt comfortable being myself with her. So naturally, in my drunken state, the words slip from my lips easily.
“You’re like, my favourite person right now,” I giggle, leaning my back against the cool wall and watching upwards at her. Paige’s eyes are heavy and red as a result of the alcohol, hair somehow still neatly slicked back, however a button on her chest left unbuttoned, displaying that she definitely wasn’t wearing a bra under the shirt.
“Yeah?” Paige asks, a proud smirk on her face. She’s standing in front of me, arms crossed.
“Don’t let it get into your head darling,” I scoff, pushing her off by her abdomen, feeling the muscles there tighten when my fingertips graze her through the shirt. For whatever reason I’d been wanting her to touch me all night, enjoying the times she wrapped her arm around my waist, or guided me through a crowd. It felt good to be touched, so I didn’t worry about what it meant further. I just wanted her hands on me. Like you’d want to hug a friend after remembering how much you love them.
“Why do you get to have all these nicknames but I don’t get to call you ma?” She asks, stumbling back but returning to her prior position, if not a little closer. I place my hands on her waist, having to tilt my head to look at her - that’s how close she is.
“Why do you want to call me ma?”
“Because,” she groans, looking for something to say. “Ion know it suits you.”
“Why?” I laugh.
“Because you’re sexy.”
I’m drunk. And I know it’s because I’m drunk. It has to be. But I can feel myself begin to throb between my legs when Paige says those words, when her teeth bite onto her bottom lip, when she looks me up and down. Suddenly I’m painfully aware of the swirling in my lower abdomen, the heat spreading straight to my core.
The blonde rubs the bridge of her nose. “Ahh shit Iz, I didn’t mean it like that. My bad. You just look really damn good. In like a friend wa-”
“You think I look sexy?”
It’s like my mouth and brain aren’t working together, the words just forming and leaving my lips without a single thought or action to stop them. For some reason it comes out almost whiny. Like I want her opinion, her reassurance.
Paige looks surprised, clenching her jaw before kissing her teeth and licking her lips, hands twitching as if for something to touch.
“I meannn… you really gotta ask that?” She says hoarsely, stepping closer and placing her hands on my hips. It feels good, but I want more, pushing my body off the wall and pressing my front against her. The sparks are immediate, and I nearly groan at the contact.
“You didn’t answer,” I demand, staring into the blues of her eyes. Only then I realise how blue they really are, like a turquoise ocean against a sandy beach, inviting, beautiful. My heart begins to pound, even more so when I feel Paige’s hands move from my waist, downwards to my hips, to the small of my back, and finally to my ass.
“Perfect,” she coos.
The breath she lets out is heavy, loud, but I barely register, my mouth parting a little. To say the chills travelling through my body are overwhelming would be an understatement, my mind suddenly spinning with realisation of something I’d been feeling for a while, yet only recognised now.
“Is this okay?” Paige asks, making me nod my head. When I do so I feel the blonde’s hands squeeze just a little, forcing a breathy whimper to spill from my lips. Overcome with the urge to be even closer to her, I wrap my arms around the girl’s broad shoulders and lean my head into the crook of her neck, my body slotting against hers just right. It feels euphoric.
“Baby I would leave too if I was Paige, that poor girl got to deal with you on a daily basis alr-”
Suddenly Lala’s voice grows louder as she turns the corner, Arike on her tail.
“Oh, sorry y’all,” the woman gasps seeing us embracing, Paige’s hands resting on my ass. Embarrassed, I pull away, nearly pushing the blonde off of me.
“Uh, I need a drink,” I murmur, my thoughts moving so quickly they make no sense, not even entirely sure what just happened in a drunken hue.
“Yoooo,” I hear Arike snickering, and Lala shutting her up.
Paige follows close behind me all the way back to the kitchen island, people around the apartment now notably drunker, louder, stumbling into each other. “You aight?”
“Yeah, yes. I am,” I murmur, pouring whatever booze there was in reach into a glass and downing it, attempting to calm the running thoughts trying to make sense of all of this.
“You sure ma?”
Fuck. The nickname. Suddenly it’s making my core burn, and I feel arousal pooling between my legs almost uncomfortably. Maybe that nickname wasn’t so bad. Maybe it got me so hot and bothered I could barely think. Maybe I wanted her to call me that and only that for the rest of my life.
“Mm, I’m sure,” I mumble, turning to look at the tall blonde beside me, the way some of the buttons on her shirt have come undone, the way she’s eyeing me back, her veiny hands wrapping around a bottle as she pours herself another drink, the chains on her neck, dangling into her shirt. It’s then when I realise - I want to fuck Paige Bueckers.
“Here you are, Paige! Have you seen Satou?” Savannah interrupts us, but my eyes are still stuck on the blonde next to me.
“No, I got no idea where she is sorry.”
“What about your girlfriend, she seen her?”
Suddenly my eyes snap from Paige to the stranger leaning over the island, blinking stupidly.
“I’m not her girlfriend,” I say sternly, my tone harder than it needs to be. I could feel myself getting overwhelmed.
“Wh- oh shit, I’m sorry. You two just seem like a coup-”
“We’re not together,” Paige interrupts her, clearly picking up on my stress levels rising. I feel the room spinning, my breathing growing shallow, my cheeks burning up.
Lala, who had been watching me and the blonde all night, swiftly walks over and grabs me by the waist. “Come with me baby,” she coos, her voice caring and affectionate as she walks me into the couple’s bedroom, closing the door behind us, separating me from everything causing the engulfing emotions.
“Sit down Zari, I’ll get you some water.”
I do as the older woman says, feeling embarrassed, just praying to any God that I didn’t cause a scene. I could feel my head spinning still, the effect from the alcohol still flowing in my bloodstream.
Lala returns and hands me a glass. I chug it down, handing it back to the woman and staring at the floor.
“Are you alright?” Lala asks, sitting next to me and following me closely. I rub my forehead, shrugging.
“I’m sorry, I think I’m more drunk than I realised,” I murmur but the woman shakes your head.
“I think it’s more than that, Zari.”
I look at her, a knowing expression on the woman’s face.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s Paige isn’t it, you like her?”
I sigh, not even sure how to answer that question. Not sure at all what the feelings swirling inside me meant.
“I… I just think I’m drunk-”
“She likes you,” Lala interrupts me. I take her words in, blinking slowly as I do. Paige likes me?
“How do you know?” I ask in a moment of vulnerability. Something about the older woman made me feel safe.
Lala chuckles, shaking her head. “I think everybody knows baby.”
Oh.
I’m speechless for once, staring at the wall, recounting every interaction I had ever had with the blonde girl. My friend. Could she really like me? Worse of all, have I led her on?
“Look, just be careful alright. Don’t give her the wrong idea if… you know, you don’t feel the same,” Lala rubs my shoulders, like reading my thoughts. It all confused me, my feelings most of all - and deep deep down I wasn’t sure about what I felt, my mind an entangled, confusing pile of perplexity.
-
“Hey you alright?” Paige murmurs to me, pressing into my back as I’m pouring myself more water in the kitchen after my little breather. My body is covered in chills once more by her proximity - which must be a sign I like her at least a little bit. Or maybe I’m just needy for someone to touch me. I was drunk after all, and it had been a while. But then again, these chills always occurred when the blonde’s hands were on me, sometimes even when they were not. Just a simple look was enough.
“Yeah, I felt a little dizzy. Feel better now though,” I murmur, finishing another glass of water.
Paige hesitates, chewing on her cheek, clearly in her head as I turn around and notice her expression. “I didn’t do too much ri-”
“Here you are!! I love this song, come dance!” A drunk Satou interrupts the moment, dragging both me and the blonde into the living room, not giving us much choice in the matter.
“Song’s almost over,” Paige chuckles, glancing at me as I shrug but follow the two hoopers.
“Who cares, I love it!” Satou laughs. We’re surrounded by a few others, dancing to the Drake song echoing around the apartment. As the beat fades out, I hear the soft melody of What You Heard by Sonder take over.
“Nooo, boo, I’mma go ask for more Drake,” Satou murmurs, walking off, leaving me and Paige alone.
Our gazes meet and we chuckle at the same time at the girl who just left, clearly even drunker than me and Paige.
“Fuck your mind up, waste time, I'm prone to that, do it all the time, Keep your guard up or wait in line”
“This song is actually fire,” Paige grins and I nod.
“It is.”
I take a dip in her blue eyes, finding comfort in them as the song plays, not at all shocked when Paige steps closer and grabs a hold of my waist, swaying with me. The alcohol is still pumping through my veins, making it easy to wrap my arms around her neck without thinking what it might mean. It felt good to be close to her, so what?
“What's the word? Tell me what you've heard, Don't tell me what to do, just tell me when it hurts.”
Paige sings along to the lyrics, the tiniest bit off-key yet something about it makes me grow flustered quickly, mind flashing with images of her doing exactly what the lyrics describe.
“What's the word? Tell me what you've heard, Don't tell me what to do, just tell me when it hurts, When I get you to myself, it's murder,” I sing back to Paige, our eyes meeting. Her eyelids are heavy from the drinks, and there’s a hint of a smirk on her face. Her silver chains sparkle in the dim lighting, but all I’m looking at is the way she’s staring me down.
Something about the alcohol makes me bold, pressing my body closer to hers, my fingernails scratching into the back of her neck gently, watching as her eyes nearly flutter shut at the contact.
“You be wildin', I be wildin', too, But not like you, shit, maybe a little like you, Maybe we ain't so different, maybe I be trippin', too,” we sing to each other, the blonde’s thumbs rubbing circles on my hips as we dance together. I feel the burn from earlier spread to my core once more, making it hard to think clearly.
Our faces are inching closer, to the point where I can feel her hot breath on my skin. My heart begins to pound and it becomes difficult to keep my eyes open. Paige licks her lips, leaning downwards. For a moment I think she’s about to kiss me, the distance between us growing smaller and smaller - until she ghosts my lips, turning her face, mouth hovering right over my ear, warm breath tickling against my skin.
“If he was a winner, Girl, you wouldn't have to worry 'bout a damn thing, If I was up in it, shit, I bet a pound that I'd put it down, Make you forget that you was ever with him,” she murmurs into my ear with the lyrics of the song, left hand staying on my hip, right hand coming up to the back of my head to hold it still as we keep swaying to the melody.
I feel flustered, my cheeks growing hotter and my core aching for something. No, not for something - for Paige.
“And I hate talking 'bout my stroke game, But girl, I'm giving you the whole thing,” she murmurs with a deep, hoarse voice, my body tingling and on fire at the same time.
Turning my face, my nose brushes into the blonde’s, but I’m too scared to open my eyes, too scared that if I do I’ll start thinking again, realising how senseless this entire situation is.
Paige’s nose nuzzles mine, and I can hear the shallowness of her breathing, her hand at the back of my head maneuvering me in a way so our lips are hovering over each other. I feel like I might pass out, my heart trying to race out of my chest at this point.
“Paige, Zari, I finally found herrrr!” Satou shouts over the crowd, making both of us pull away. My eyes shoot open and I see the girl holding her friend Savannah.
“Oh! Good!” I smile awkwardly, Paige’s hands still on me.
“Jesus…” The blonde murmurs to herself, looking around clearly frustrated by the unwelcome interruption. “You wanna go to the balcony for, uh, some fresh air?”
“Yeah,” I nod, without thinking. I let the tall girl walk me onto the balcony, closing the door behind us.
Fresh air it is not, the weather a hot and humid warning for the approaching scorching Dallas summer. But it still feels right to be alone with Paige, under the dark Texas sky. I glance upwards, looking at the stars to avoid meeting the blonde’s stare.
“So damn hot,” Paige groans, unbuttoning her shirt even more to get more airflow, though I couldn’t care less. I’m only gazing at the way the chains on her neck rest against her skin.
“Yeah, it certainly is,” I mumble, leaning my back against the glass railing.
Paige looks at me with something I can’t recognise, her expression softening as she’s taking steps towards me. “Fuck, that accent,” she murmurs, her hands easily finding their way to my waist again.
“What do you mean?” I laugh.
She shrugs. “I dunno, I just love hearing you talk.”
I chuckle, bringing my hand to her chest and playing with the chain there, number 5 dangling off it. Paige grins too, continuing.
“And the things you say too.”
I scoff, displeased. “Like what?”
“I dunno! British things!”
“British things??” I ask, laughing so hard my stomach begins to hurt, my fingers still fiddling the number 5.
“Like… Taking the piss!” She laughs, leaning closer. I bend forward too, my face scrunching as pearls of giggles spill from my mouth.
“Oh my God, you’re so stupid,” I murmur in a blur of joy, my hand snaking behind her head. In the haze of the alcohol and the giggles and the newfound feelings, before I can think it through, I’m pulling her down by the chain and her head, leaning closer and kissing her.
It’s heaven. Every nerve in my body is on fire. The blonde’s lips open for me, slowly but sensually sliding against mine. My legs feel weak, and my nails dig into the skin of her neck, a whimper leaving my mouth but she swallows it, groaning in response. Her hands squeeze my waist before moving to my face, landing on my jaw to keep me as close as possible - like she might die if I pull away.
I’m pressed closer to the glass behind my back as the kiss grows hungrier. Paige’s mouth opens further, her tongue darting out to slide against my lower lip, begging for entry with a small whine slipping from the blonde’s mouth. It’s like everything pent up was finally releasing, something I didn’t even know was there, bubbling right underneath the surface. My tongue meets Paige’s, both of us melting into the kiss. I feel like putty in her hands, like she could mold me whichever way possible. This is the best kiss I’ve ever experienced, I know that for sure. Jasper always kissed in such a stiff, forceful way. Right. Jasper.
It takes me back to the moment, as if for a sliver of a second I can think clearly. What the fuck am I doing. This isn’t me. I haven’t thought this through at all. I’m leading Paige on.
Abruptly I pull back for air, the taller girl already dragging me back into another kiss needily. But I push Paige back by her chest, stopping her. We’re both breathing heavily, staring at each other. What the fuck am I doing.
“I have to go, I’m sorry,” I mumble, shoving her off me as gently as I can, saying quick goodbyes to Lala and Arike before practically running down the stairs and throwing myself into a cab, leaving Paige upstairs as if nothing happened. The only proof of the night’s events merely the way my lips still burn and tingle, and my racing heart and swirling mind trying to make sense of everything.
-
taglist:@wbbgetsmewetter @thaatdigitaldiary @pb524830 @bueckersfive @lupinqs @sierrale8ne @d3arapril @lovegalor333 @avvwritesstufff @rosemariiaa @bueckers22 @taylynbueckers44 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @rizzlerbuckets @wosolipa @bridgetloveswomen @paiges-1vur @slut4uconnwbb @xxloveralways14 @bueckersbitch @janaelalfysblunt @omg-imtumbling @angryflowerwitch @ohbueckers
#so it goes#lilas writing#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers fanfic#paige bueckers smut#wnba x oc#Spotify
235 notes
·
View notes
Note
it resonated so hard, I'm polyam/aroace and it was just like. some twt users have permanent main character syndrome so bad, dnf in gay romantic love and other people using their brains to acknowledge the obvious is not oppressing us, please go read the wiki on occam's razor and then touch grass (okay sorry ty for letting me use your asks to vent 🫶)
no ur so right don’t apologize! i need to start just replying to silly shit with the occam’s razor wiki link bc like it simply does not ever need to be so fucking complicated lmao. but at the end of the day it doesn’t even matter bc we already won 😭💚 dnf in gay romantic love we did it joe
#no yea the main character syndrome goes crazy like we r not a part of their relationship why do we matter jn this context in the way#theyre trying to make us matter or whatever#like obv people matter but like#im rlly tired i have no clue what i’m saying LMFAOOOO#but dnf in gay romantic love we never lose#sorry i love any and every variation of that and i’m going to say it always now#thank u for asks it made my very sleepy very stressful nigjt better#i love talking about fandom shit sometimes bc like i prommy i have decent thoughts on shit but god i hate adding to it sometimes#but like i didn’t see much that wasn’t crazy shit/acknowledging shit was crazy but not Why#which is whatever like people shouldn’t have to write thinkpjeces on dnf#but i don’t mind bc i do it anyways LOL#i love a good ramble#anyways god this is so long i’m so sorry 😭���
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
so real @normalbrothershow
#I DO mind some of jensen’s flop moments for. various reasons#primarily bc I know he can do better when he cares to and when he isn’t working with ppl who’ll let all his dumb whims slide lol#like I think jared has the best Instincts as an actor esp for the character he’s playing#I think we get the best work out of jensen when he’s in capable hands directorially (rip kim manners)#also I have no problem saying that I think some of the best and most consistent acting on the show is jared’s. he has a skill set that the#other two don’t exactly share#and misha. lmfaooo. clearly the worst of the 3 if you’re not lying (sadly many ppl here are 😔)#I do think he has his moments in his earlier appearances before he tbh started to really phone it in#but he’s also responsible for some of the cringiest scenes in the show by a mile#anyway…..#tag vomit
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
IM FREEEEEE
#(FROM PROJECTS)#personal#the engineering chronicles#WILL HOPEFULLY NEVER NEED TO SLEEP THREE NIGHTS ON THE FLOOR OF THE ENGINEERING BUILDING AGAIN!!!#one class the final project was to build a karaoke machine which my partner and i had planned on making look like actual speakers and#microphone but we couldn’t find the stuff in time and her mom made a joke abt singing into hairbrushes and we decided to take that and#run lol we used a pink sparkly makeup box to store our circuit and cut out holes for the speakers and decorated it with makeup and put the#hairbrush mics inside and it was very fun actually and our class voted us as one of the groups to go to project day which was pretty cool!!#project day did get canceled bc of. asnow day which was unfortunate especially considering we stayed up until 4am the night before#preparing our documents for it and trying to perfect the karaoke machine when we could have been putting that time toward project number#2 😐 but whatever we still get our extra credit and i can say i qualified for it so im happy enough#then project 2 was for another class but we’re lab partners in both (+ another guy for this project) and it was digital monster pet so we#made a dragon i was mostly on design so i hand CADed the whole thing which was living hell if i never want to lay eyes on solidworks#again but also he came out very cute after MUCH hasle putting him together with all the wires and components bc our wires from the kit are#so bad they’re constantly getting disconnected from each other which we didn’t know would happen bc the labs we usually do we don’t have to#connect them together like that since you’re not routing them thru bodies etc and they’ve worked great until now but anywya.#i did the lcd faces and the light sensor and a couple other things + a lot of the code was copy and paste from past labs and fitting it to#suit the project but for the most part it was a shit ton of hardware on my end while she and the other guy managed the rest of the code#which i really wish i could have been more involved with but oh well. as it is though he’s my baby i birthed him <3 we’re planning on#meeting up over weekends next semester to change some stuff and add other extra features that we missed we got a decent grade 85% but we#all agreed we don’t want to leave him like this we want to add the extra features we had come up with and also i think we should switch out#our motors for servos bc the motors we were required to use#instead suck they’re not strong at all compared to what a servo can do for you. also we want to make it so you can not only pet him which w#already have with light sensors but also wash him with a Hall effect sensor and magnet so like we’d stick the sensor inside and the magnet#inside a little cad brush or sponge is what im envisioning and i have an expression in mind for what we’d do then. also paint him and#redesign the platform he stands on bc it’s rlly cramped and also make a pcb bc we only have him with the microcontroller and breadboards rn#and i might mess with his face piece a bit too im not sure. oh and speakers!!! those were technically a requirement but we didn’t get them#done on time but i want to make him play music sooooo bad so definitely that. anyway want to be more involved in the software when we do#all this. pretty excited actually :]
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
one thing I’ve seen a lot of portwells/ej stans mention is that the wildcats were “bad friends” for not helping ej with his stress/pinning more specific blame on gina for not helping her boyfriend when he was stressed. for one, this is kinda blatantly not true. besides the fact that ej refused to ask them for help (and understandably so) by not revealing that he was director at the beginning of 302 or inviting miss jenn to outsource help, for example, most of them helped him/offered to help in one way or another. gina constantly shared her faith in his abilities and even offered to step back on their relationship while at camp to allow him more free time. val appeared to fulfill a lot of the directing role with casting and helping to organize the readthrough. maddox helped with organizing auditions. carlos (along with val) organized rcosl to help get more drama. I could share more examples but they serve to highlight that when ej was drowning, he was not left at sea. a lot of his stress was intrinsic, and even all the help in the world was going to prevent it because of pressure he imposed on himself. to blame his friends, who were there to have fun, with the only responsibility on their plate being to learn their lines, is a misunderstanding of why he was stressed and how he could be helped. the best thing they could do for him was learn their roles for opening night. in fact, miss jenn literally tells him “if they know their lines, they’ll be fine.” i also wanna mention that ej didn’t really seem to be failing at directing. it was more of a combination of personal doubt and the introduction of the production being filmed. the latter likely placed stress on all of them and there was nothing that they could really do to change that for themselves, let alone ej. anyways, all this is leading up to my main question: what did you guys want the wildcats to do for ej? take on directing parts of the show while also learning their lines in under two weeks? magically find him a way to please his father? the stress that ej was under sucked. but it wasn’t the fault of his friends, nor could it disappear in the presence of sweet words. I just wanted to pose this inquiry to his stans and open it up for respectful debate!
#hsmtmts#ej caswell#ej hsmtmts#idk how to tag I never talk about him lol#I have mixed feelings about ej because he was one of my favorite characters in s1 and 2#but he kinda fell flat in s3 for me idk#but I feel like I understand him on a deep psychological level#this post is also looking to push back on the babying done by ej stans#they refuse to let him be held accountable and place the onus of ALLLLLL his problems on the shoulders of others#sometimes it is other people’s fault#most of the time it’s not#I just wanna understand the reasoning a bit#bc I truly feel there was not much his friends could do but make the musical good in their own ways#and this is not blaming ej#but it’s hard to help someone when they don’t tell you anything#and he’s notorious for bottling his feelings up#and no one can read your mind if you don’t want them to#but anyways#pls share your explanations!!!
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
:c
#i luv my friends ;-; i feel like i’m gonna lose my mind when i’m not living right by all my friends lmao 😭#i’ve literally been hanging out w ppl like at least every other day if not every day#we made semi spontaneous plan to go to pride tmrwwweww 🥹🥹 i’m excited#i just am so happy that i get to spend sm time w ppl rn bc we’re all somewhat free bc summer 😭#also idk i was just thinking abt this recently but like#it’s kinda new to me to like actually be comfortable/confident in knowing my friends want/like my presence ;-;#even then i’m not that confident LMAO bc after sm time together i’m like surely they’ll get sick of me#like we’ve seen each other every day the past like three days#but no 🥹 ugh like idk man i had one elementary to sort of middle and high school friendship#that like fucked me up i feel like lmfao 💀#like girl sidelined me so much for other friends that i just#:l and cried so much bc of that 😀 anyway 😀#so like idk i’m just so grateful rn 😭😭😭#also was thinking abt it recently bc my mom made me feel judged/ made me feel like she was annoyed that i was staying here on campus#when i technically don’t need to and my main/only reason is bc friends#and after that conversation w her i got kinda annoyed bc i was like#i have had so many conversations w you where i was sad af or frustrated that my friends wouldn’t reach out to me ever#or my friend who never paid attention to me when other friends were around#like i don’t think she’s actually judging like me staying for friends but it was that one conversation we were both kinda annoyed idk#and i was just like . pls#anyway 😀 i always have so many friend thoughts i always be overthinking it LOL#anyway anyway i need to be up in like 6 hrs LOLLLLLL pride tho yay 🥰🥰🥰#rip me not having clean cute clothes for this LOL 🤪#ong last yr i tied my hair in a ponytail w like rainbow hair ties tied down the ponytail……#idk if i have those but if i do maybe i should do that again LOL#idk might be too lazy tho we’ll see how much time i have to get ready when i wake up 🤡#jeanne talks#TOO MUCH BYE
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE goal for holidays 2024 is to show up to the family jacked and tatted like I’ve wanted to for the past 2 years
#I’m not gonna be like. tiktok fitness influencer jacked probably lol and that’s fine#I just want my little brother to nod and do his lil ‘that’s what’s up; respect’ bc I love that guy and he is fit as hell#my sisters are beautiful my brother is handsome they’re all funny and charming and I am the Recluse Artist with a vague and confusing#gender they don’t understand 😭 which is fine I just think it’s funny#my mom cannot wrap her mind around my fashion choices it just completely bewilders her#anyways I’m gonna carve out my niche as the hot gay cousin and escape the niche of artist relative. not entirely. I’ll live in both. lol#star’s thoughts#dl
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
where my chronic pain bitches at <3 just cried for 40 minutes because my endo pain was so severe I couldn’t move <33 I stay winning x
#not phan lol#my god I know I’m SO lucky I only get it this severely once every few months but fucking hell#endo sufferers that don’t have the double whammy with PCOS as well I truly do not know how you do this every month#like yes having PCOS as well means I live in fear of my periods bc they’re very bad and only once every 2-3 months#but thank god they’re that irregular#anyway sorry just having a moan don’t mind me x#as you were x
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
FUCK you: re-canonifies your Flower!AU
Anyways what if Polites actually still dies flower au au (bit o context in the tags, just so this drabble makes a bit more sense since it doesnt exactly follow canon aha-)
Rattlesnake Root
shield, step carefully.
Watching Ajax rush across the deck, calling out orders while cradling little Astyanax in his arms, the realization hit Odysseus like a brick.
This is what Polites had meant.
Eurylochus’s voice still echoed in his ears — but Odysseus wasn’t hearing any of it. Everything sounded muffled, like he was listening to (one of) his best friend chew him out from underwater. He must have started yelling louder, because the teenager glanced over at the two of them, something Odysseus hesitated to label as anything other than concern written across his face.
He wanted to yell.
He wanted to scream, keep shooting venom like arrows, jump up and pace, even.
Instead he stood, hands clasped over the rail, staring blankly past the blurred shape of his friend. It was both too loud and yet too quiet and annoyingly chilly and somehow everything was way too bright. It felt like there should be a storm brewing overhead, yet the only rain falling came from his eyes. The sun shone down unapologetically overhead, and Odysseus fought back an unintelligible scream.
This is what Polites had meant, what he’d pleaded back in that forest.
If you don’t talk to us, if you don’t trust us, then how can we help?
He’d thought he’d had it all under control, that his own hangups weren’t affecting anyone else, but clearly he’d been wrong. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or just plain ignorance, but Odysseus had fucked up, pushed too far.
He wanted to sob.
He was already crying, Odysseus realized in a vague, sort of detached way. His face felt… damp, and tight from the salt already starting to dry. Something hit his hand; again and again and again, and rolled down his knuckles.
Eurylochus yelled again, throwing his arms out, and Odysseus flinched.
How long had this been brewing?
How long had he been pushing his crew, his friends to the edge? For how long had he been pushing them to the side, ignoring their concerns and needs, forcing them to pick up his slack?
…when had his efforts to protect them start to hurt instead?
Slowly, Eurylochus’s face came back into focus.
His mouth moved and Odysseus could, technically, hear him still, but the words themselves were lost to the buzzing in his head. The tilt to his eyebrows would have looked angry — really, really angry — to anyone else, but Odysseus knew his friend. Eurylochus was angry, sure, but mostly he was just worried (and tired, so tired, and grieving, too). The man’s eyes glistened wetly, shining with unshed tears.
Odysseus barely noticed as he started to shake.
He did this. This was his fault, the result of his negligence. Polites was dead because of him, and now he was driving away the other person he should be supporting, looking after the most.
Odysseus clenched the rail tighter, clearly hearing it creak under his grip. Eurylochus’s voice faded in and out, nothing but background noise.
He’d failed.
Odysseus blinked once, twice, trying to alleviate the pressure growing behind his eyes. The tears, which had been slowing, built again, suddenly, and everything was just too much.
Oh. He dimly realized again. I did this.
And Odysseus…
…Odysseus broke.
Odysseus broke, tears falling like a waterfall. He choked on a sob, shaking violently, as his knees wobbled and knocked together. Eurylochus’s voice, angry and harsh, snapped back into focus, and Odysseus keened weakly.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, falling to his knees as he swallowed back another sob. “I’m sorry-“
Desperately, shaking all the while, Odysseus clutched at his friend’s chiton, head pressed to Eurylochus’s knee. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-“
Eurylochus’s angry rant trailed off into shocked silence as Odysseus tripped over his words. Apology after apology spilled from his lips as he sat shaking on the wooden deck of the ship, legs collapsed awkwardly beneath him. He didn’t dare look up as silence crashed against the ship like Polyphemus’s club crashing against men and stone, just kept choking out desperate apologies into the empty, oppressive air.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sobbed, like a mantra. “I’m sorry,”
The moment seemed to stretch for an eternity; a terrifying, heart-stopping eternity.
He couldn’t do this.
Odysseus- he couldn’t. He’d tried, fuck he’d tried. Tried to carry every burden he could, tried to protect his people, and look where they were now.
It was all a mess, a fucking disaster.
And- and Polites was gone, now, really truly gone, never-coming-back gone.
Dead.
And Eurylochus would be too- not dead, not if Odysseus had any say in it, but gone, leaving.
Leaving him, because Eurylochus would do what was best for the crew.
Odysseus was just dead weight.
The leg he leaned against, clutched in desperation, was pulled back, and Odysseus let it go.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, trying and failing to blink away his tears as his hands dropped down to dig his nails into his own knees instead. Something thudded against the ground ahead of him, but all Odysseus could think was ‘this is it’.
This is it, this is where his friend, his last surviving best friend, his brother, even, left him.
And by the gods if he didn’t deserve it.
“‘msorry,” his words slurred together. “‘msrry’msorry,”
He deserved this, for hurting his friend and daring to proclaim otherwise. Why should Eurylochus stick around? Odysseus wasn’t worth the work. He hunched in on himself some more.
“‘msorry,” he might have begged. Please don’t go. You have every right to, but please, please. Don’t leave me. “‘msrrymsrrymsor-“
Odysseus coughed.
Oh, that was odd.
He couldn’t breathe, for a moment there, air knocked from his lungs as his chest collided with something warm and solid. Something strong tugged his forwards, pulled him tight against it.
Warm arms wrapped around his shoulders, and Odysseus suddenly found his head tucked into the crook of Eurylochus’s neck as he shook. He tried to choke out another apology, but Eurylochus held him too tightly to properly speak the words.
Oh.
Oh.
Odysseus shook some more, hands slowly worming their way from his knees to clutch this time at the front of his friend’s chiton.
Eurylochus was hugging him.
Eurylochus. was hugging him.
Odysseus sobbed again.
“I’m sorry,” he managed to force out again, but Eurylochus just pulled him impossibly closer.
“It’s okay,” his friend whispered, voice hoarse. “It’s going to be okay.”
mans is a bit harsh on himself :,)
He doesn’t q u i t e get the point, but he’s getting there-
Anyways so flower au; asty lives and also @hahahaghosty and I are soft for lil ajax :P
I know I always say this, but they were a huge inspiration for this (bc they fuel me w like 75% of my writing ideas lmao-), so thank you a whole lot!! wouldn’t be possible without ya :) they're really fucking awesome, go check out their stuff!! do it- Do It Now-
anyways that all from me for now, thanks for reading :P
(me: check out the tags for some context :) also me: throws way to much shit in them-
just. just read the beginning and end and itll all make sense if u wanna)
#uggggghhhhh I copy-pasted this and it got rid of my italics sadge-#anyways I wanted a flower that meant ‘please don’t go’ or smthn but could’nt find one and didn’t feel like digging too much lol#yes I know lil ajax is not actually a teenager. no I do not care#anyways context?#poli nd odys kidnap/adopt asty. poli dies. euryl thinks they should get rid of asty odys disagrees. they’re both Super Stressed-#(nearly starved to death + Polyphemus + grief)#so they fight. odys has been pushing everyone away bc he wants to do everything himself#so he can protect the friends he has left. this only creates more stress for euryl (shocker)#lil ajax just wants to help out :)#so yeah that’s what’s going on-#listen euryl is soft for his friends 🥺#u can’t change my mind#that doesn’t mean he’s afraid to kick their asses (he will. absolutely). just that w poli the designated Hug Man gone he will step up to#(awkwardly)#offer some good ol comfort :]#…#Me whenever I write literally anything: anyways this is entirely @hahahaghosty’s fault :)#flower au#epic the musical#the odyssey#odysseus#eurylochus#polites#he’s mentioned but also dead sorry-#lil ajax#astyanax#both there for about a sentence lmao#no clue if they actually know polyphemus name but whatever#oh yeah also I’m imagining neither of them have slept for a while aha-#grief/mourning
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
do you guys think i should make a faire (etsy for wholesale)……. wholesaling was on my goal list for the year but in a “email local businesses” way not a “put my stuff on a marketplace” way, especially since faire takes a 15% commission & has other fees…. i don’t have the kind of inventory to list a ton of stuff on there but i could start with a few things and see how it goes…. i can stop doing it if i decide it’s not worth it… it would be easier than sending a lot of emails or making a wholesale packet….
#if it goes well i can just start ordering more stock from the jump when i get new things#i don’t think i’m going to put any prints on there bc my runs are too small & i struggle doing reprints as is#sorry to people waiting on reprints i will get around to it i promise. but if i list my prints on faire then i feel like ill never have them#for my store. lol#it also might help me get rid of some stuff that doesn’t do so well for me like those stupid pencils..#i’ve been thinking about it the past couple days bc i just had a conversation w my boss about ordering stickers & she was shocked how little#i order. which makes sense for my business rn but she was telling me i should wholesale#so it’s been on my mind. idk maybe i’ll make an account and list a few things today & see if anybody bites#chatpost#i already know how the website works for the most part bc we use it at work#also should i order a new koozie do you think. it’s my usual summer merch although it’s late for that#people don’t buy them much anyway which is a shame bc i like them
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
now that my sisters are hooked on playstation gaming bc they got to try it for a bit i’m like guuuuys if we all pool our money we could invest in a ps5 together… (they want to play the fanciest most realistic games from this decade and i want to play a clunky series that’s older than me)
#y’know that one gag headline#‘huge [game series] fan excited to finally play it’#yeah for those of you who don’t know. i’m a switch only gamer i don’t even have kingdom hearts#i’ve played part of some of the console games at riya’s house but the rest is all lore osmosis bc i refuse to sit through a playthrough#that’s part of why i don’t talk about the ‘main’ games that much lol#only for the subject matter i’m actually confident in#of course i’ve watched lots of the cutscenes from lots of the games#but never in full#just here and there#peach rambles#i know a ps4 would be relatively cheap at this point and still be great#but my concern tbh is that kh4 will be a ps5 exclusive#or otherwise that the ps4 would explode or whatever#i know it’s still better hardware than a switch but. it would seem worth it to invest in a next gen console#especially if i’m only paying part of the cost#i think my sisters being in on playstation gaming might be a game changer bc i really do not need or want one myself just for kh#that’s a ton of money for something that simple#and it’s not a mobile console so i wouldn’t drag it to school anyway#so like. i wouldn’t mind sharing it with my sisters at home
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
[ID in alt text]
continuing a tradition of drawing these two for halloween! they get to be all dressed up bc i couldn’t this year <3
#alice in wonderlaaaand#this one is way less serious then the last one lol i wanted to do something cute#also it’s technically midnight when i’m posting this but ssssshhhh. halloween is a state of MIND it ends when i say it does#don’t look at the anatomy on this for the love of god do not look at the hands. this is so unserious this is just to be silly#don’t look at anything to hard#there’s actually a halloween type chapter in lmd where they go to a little party thing#but that happens in the middle of pallas’s burgeoning recognition of their identity crisis so they’re a HUGE bitch about it#and won’t wear a costume and spend the entire thing sulking. which is fair bc sensory Hell but also like. cmon. cmon.#anyways. them ❤️#i could make this a whole group costume thing lol. fiver cheshire cat nina mad hatter etc etc#they r all actually so alice in wonderland coded#wip: ghost story#creme does an art#pallas and agnes#I FORGOT PALLASS NOSE AND EYEBROWS PIERCINGS FUCK
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
hihi i was wondering what you’re studying in grad school? i’m debating going LOL
i’m currently in a master’s program 4 a gender studies degree! my experience has been. pretty good so far but if ur located in the u.s. my honest advice is don’t go 2 grad school unless u can get it fully funded…or unless ur rich enough 2 just eat the cost of paying 4 a program in which case u can probably do whatever u want lol
#can only speak 2 the higher ed system in the u.s. but#master’s programs in particular r harder 2 find funding for#& most people in them r getting a degree 4 a specific career or planning 2 continue working in academia#phd programs here r funded but harder 2 get into bc of it & a bigger commitment & also still underpaid so#anyway. only reason i was able 2 do this master’s degree was bc one of the schools i applied 2 gave me tuition remission + a stipend#i would NOT recommend going into debt 4 a master’s degree. generally speaking…#also don’t generally recommend going into grad school straight from undergrad…obv every person’s situation is different etc#but my general advice would be go 2 grad school if u have a specific career path in mind not just if u aren’t sure what else 2 do etc#like lbr the university is not a sacred bastion of learning lol it’s a job like any other & comes w its own forms of exploitation#esp if ur a grad student…one thing a university will NEVER do is pay u well!!!
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
discovered miah_pie on t*ktok (<- i don’t have one btw i just stumbled upon her bc someone i follow on ig talked abt her) and her videos make me want to cry so bad. 24 year old dependent moment
#purrs#i went to a clothing store today to try to get new work shoes and pants bc the one pair i have of each literally have holes in them and are#falling the fuck apart on my body and it was a HORRIBLE experience largely bc i think everybody in town was out shopping for back to school#so it was super crowded and there were lots of screaming kids and it was extremely stressful + my dad got into a mini car accident while i w#was in the store (he was / is completely fine thankfully but the car is not which is so awesome 😍😍😍😍😍) and i was just so stressed and#overstimulated but also like… nothing fits me bc im so short lol. but anyway it was so horrible i was on the verge of starting to cry in the#store and then i came home empty handed and my mom got super pissed at me for… needing to go to the store / being the reason we were out lol#and then finding miah pie and her videos are all about making trips to the store SO much fun and buying little treats and saying yessir and#OHHHHHH MYYYYY and just finding the joy in smth that can be so stressful and unpleasant… it makes me want to cry happy and sad tears at the#same time like i want that soooo bad and i can’t do it fully yet but i want it. need it. fuck my stupid baka life#anyways im gonna start saying the stuff she says just to make myself feel better even when im not at a store. yessir! OHHHHHH MYYYYYY.#acquired. don’t mind if i diddly dooooo!#also btw i am not a dependent except for the ways i am a dependent. hope that helps 🫶🏻#the problem is really that i don’t have a car or a license and also that my mom throws a fit every time i need / want to get driving#practice bc it’s never a good time so. lol 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 me doing drivers ed this summer was a fucking joke i forget literally everything i#learned and have only been behind the wheel 3 times and none of them have actually counted bc im just developing basic motor skills#(literally). fmlllll im never getting out of here who am i kidding 🤪#delete later
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it
#i have never really felt like just disappearing off of the face of the earth and not talking to Anyone before but i have been thinking of it#a lot today! which is wild bc not my normal isolation thought but today it seems good ahahahaha#i am just. tired. i feel like i am not listened to ever and i feel unwanted as hell lately which i know in the back of my mind i am not#unwanted but boy do it feel like that lately lol. and i’ve been back on my ‘im gonna die alone bc nobody ever will love me how i love them’#bullshit which i have Not missed but it is come back full on ! soooo fun for me hahahahahaha i love to feel miserable about being unwanted#by those around me!!!! love it sooooooooooo much weeeeeee i totally don’t wanna slam my head through a window!!!!#also just in general lately i have felt like people talking to me is a chore to them bc nobody around me has been having actual conversation#it’s all been shit ass one word or one sentence replies from everyone or they talk about what they want and not acknowledge what i said and#i don’t even know what to do about it. i just don’t even want to talk to anyone now bc i feel like they literally don’t want to speak to me#and they don’t care what i have to say clearly bc they don’t pay attention and then bring up what i said says or weeks later like i never#said anything and it’s like hm wow yeah i fucking told you about that??? maybe if you pay attention you’d have known that but it’s fine !!!!#I’m just. tired of it. i am fully understanding of everyone having lives and doing their own things they need to do. but this is like. fr#different. like it feels so much different than that and i don’t get it and i don’t know what to do !!!!!!! i feel like i’m going Nuts#anyways if any of you wanna stick me through a meat grinder i would be forever thankful and you have the rights to take anything i own after#what this boils down to is my autistic ass is like everyone is not doing their normal thing!!! everyone is off their normal talking schedule#with me!!!! this must mean they fucking want me dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc they went off script/pattern and not in a way they have in the past#that indicated that they just are struggling to reach out! this is different and bad and they want you out of their life!!!!!!!#which is ridiculous but what the fuck am i to do about it bc i will be thinking this until i basically am told otherwise by these people. so#that’s soooo much fun i love brains they’re so silly i wish i could jump at a wall and stick to it until i just slowly peel off and onto the#floor. anyways. hope everyone else has a good night
2 notes
·
View notes